When I look back at my life Ehmmm I could be [*pause*] proud I did what I should Been a real pro-fessional And I was quite good [passionate, deeper low baritone voice] I was quite good [chorus: faster, more energetic] Two plus two is four Four plus four is eight Eighteen plus six is twenty four And I love you more Safety in numbers Safety in numbers I ran the numbers Double checked it is all great Add box fifteen to box twenty eight We didn't have computers And I did it all by hand [passionate, deeper voice] I did it all by hand [chorus] Two plus two is four Four plus four is eight Eighteen plus six is twenty four And I love you more Safety in numbers Safety in numbers You say it's not that glorious But it made us good dough You say I played it safe But at tax season, though I always helped you save [passionate] always helped you save [chorus] Two plus two is four Four plus four is eight Eighteen plus six is twenty four And I love you more Safety in numbers Safety in numbers

[Folk fairy tale] Once upon a time There was a man A normal man Just like the most Not a mirage Or a ghost He had a wife, you know A normal wife Just like any other woman Just like that And they lived A normal life [chorus: harmonic choir] Tell me more I want to know Please pray tell How the story ends The had two children A girl and a boy And I cannot tell a lie They were just Like you and I Regular Joes They were not bad at school Not at all Not too good either Just like that Right in the middle And that's it Tell me more I want to know Please pray tell How the story ends The story end Not with a bang But with a whimper With a bumper sticker A boring dad joke And then a stroke It was quite unexpected Not normal at all Not what the average family want to be told Luckily he survived Everything is well Tell me more I want to know Please pray tell How the story ends

I miss you Bretta, so much There is no day I don't think of you You were the light of my life You were my one and only wife Why have you gone? Why did you leave me alone? [chorus: heartfelt. Chocking. Coughing. Almost crying] Bretta, Bretta, my love A day with no end Bretta, Bretta, my love One day we'll meet again I remember it so well It was a sunny Sunday morning You said you don't feel well I was running to the phone One moment you were there The next you were gone [chorus] Bretta, Bretta, my love A day with no end Bretta, Bretta, my love One day we'll meet again I see your face everywhere I look I see you image in the phonebook I think of you when I'm sad I smell you when I go to bed I see your ghost on the TV I see your picture, you and me [chorus] Bretta, Bretta, my love A day with no end Bretta, Bretta, my love One day we'll meet again

There are days like this With no end There are days like this When I'm lost What I would like the most What I would want most of all Is to lay my head down Close my eyes And let my thoughts fly To a different world [chorus] When my mind wonders When I am lost Before I go bonkers And there's cost I come back here A place where I could Lay my head A place of quiet of peace My new bed What I would dream the most What I would yearn most of all Is to wave hello Open my eyes Faintly smile And let my emotions flood overcome me [chorus] When my mind wonders When I am lost Before I go bonkers And there's cost I come back here

[garqage rock] This is my tragedy My source of duress When my tummy is rumbling At 11 PM "Feed me" she says And I Uh-blige [Bridge: Violine solo] [chorus: introspective] I open the fridge Nothing to eat Nothing I like, anyway So sad So sad This is my quandary To eat I must I hope you agree An old tired man To satisfy he must Listen to his gut I open the fridge Yet once again Nothing new there to eat So sad So sad Would I just go to sleep Lie on empty stomach? Doctor says it's good for me I should agree But my intestines Ask for spree [chorus] I open the fridge Third time this night No steak or dessert So sad So sad

[intro: mysterious, nightmarish lullaby] There is a global conspiracy An evil kah-bal A group of lizard people Living next door And they may go to hell They are here to steal my mail They are going it again I will not let this stand [chorus: angry, agitated] Evil clowns from outer space Stop messing with my life I've seen it all I know you're there You can no longer hide. There is a global secrecy An evil band of wusses Who work for the government And keep steal my glasses Prey tell, you miscreants Why do you need it? Just leave me alone Just go, away. Away. [chorus] Evil clowns from outer space Stop messing with my life I've seen it all I know you're there You can no longer hide. There was a car at the front It looked awfully suspicious I do not have no visitors I do not drive a Mercedes So I called 911 Reported it to the police But they are all in cahoots They did not do zilch [chorus] Evil clowns from outer space Stop messing with my life I've seen it all I know you're there You can no longer hide.

[Singing tone is whimsical] I will join the circus With the rhinos and the monkeys I will leave it all behind And start new life I will learn to ride the unicycle I will jump on the trapeze I will flip in the air Everyone will be amazed [chorus: theatrical and forceful] Any time good for a change To be something else To do something strange To dare and to hope New tricks for old dog It is still not too late Even though I'm seventy eight To learn new tricks To fetch new bone I am kind of alone And I don't like it at all But when I'm in the circus I will have a ball [chorus] Any time good for a change To be something else To do something strange To dare and to hope New tricks for old dog I saw them passing by today With all those trailers and trucks They are erecting a new tent Going there is just few bucks I will come and say hello And show them what I can They will be so impressed They will ask me to join them [chorus] Any time good for a change To be something else To do something strange To dare and to hope New tricks for old dog

Late at night Time to sleep To take a bath and go to bed [dramatic] But I won't sleep No I won't [chorus: desperate] I need to write Just one more song One more line One more word I will not stop Till I drop dead aaayyyyyyyyy! Computer blinks Screen flickers I flicker back My eye blinks My fingers flinch Ready to type [chorus] I need to write Just one more song One more line One more word I will not stop Till I drop dead aaayyyyyyyyy! The bed calls but I ignore Just one more minute One more song One more pun And I'll be done [chorus] I need to write Just one more song One more line One more word I will not stop Till I drop dead aaayyyyyyyyy!

[Intro: medieval dance music] When I was your age, child We didn't have smartphones We didn't have computers We didn't have tablets We have this payphone At the end of the street We stood there in the rain And waited for it And we had a dime To call again [chorus: More forceful, more joyful] Those were the times The happy times Where everything was simple Everything was pure What wouldn't I give To go back When I was your age, child We didn't have a fridge We didn't have a freezer We didn't have a range We had an icebox To keep food cool We had a fireplace with woods To cook it all good We cooked in huge cast iron pots And it tasted so good [chorus] Those were the times The happy times Where everything was simple Everything was pure What wouldn't I give To go back When I was your age, child We didn't have three bedrooms We didn't have a yard We didn't have elevators We were all in one bedroom With my grandpa and aunt In a shed made of card boxes That got soggy when it rains And sometimes blew off When there were trains [chorus] Those were the times The happy times Where everything was simple Everything was pure What wouldn't I give To go back

[circus hip-hop] I sat today near the fireplace This fake electric fireplace Made by Amish folks The couch is so comfy The fake fire so warm And I feel good [chorus: clean, happy, harmonic] And I think How maybe It's so nice to be in this world To see it all with my eyes To live through it all The good and the bad I made me some eggs this morning Breakfast was quite good I even grilled some bacon It came out like it should I was satisfied In a good mood [chorus] And I think How maybe It's so nice to be in this world To see it all with my eyes To live through it all The good and the bad I had phone-call this evening Grand-kids are just fine! Daughter in law got new job My son is going to the gym For a second week in a row! I am quite impressed [chorus] And I think How maybe It's so nice to be in this world To see it all with my eyes To live through it all The good and the bad